How's it going?

 Well, still no word from the insurance. It's been less than a week, though, so I can't go expecting miracles.  I'm working on what the therapist said about being mindful of what I'm putting down my gullet. Like, it worked for not eating snacks after dinner (my major grazing time), but I made bad food choices during meals because of... reasons. Basically I hurt my leg and it's hard to clean, so my kitchen is a mess. And I don't want to stand there and cook because... well... leg. I should have made a better choice for eating out, but what's done is done. 

One thing I can say is the fast food was only moderately satisfying. I knew it was rubbish when I was eating it. It tastes only kinda nice at the moment, but you know it's not doing anything for you, other than quelling hunger. 

I know I need to really work on the emotions behind the emotional eating, that two days of mindfulness does not a habit make. But still--there's time. It's not like I need to figure this stuff out right now. Developing new habits takes time, and not reaching for food after dinner is going to take some work to establish. No one ever solved their issues in a day (or two!). I have to work on the FOMO, the "I deserve this" thing, and the holdover behaviors from food insecurity. 

I don't know how/if the therapist will help with working through those things, or if she's just a behavior modification without introspection kind of person. NO one knows how to diet like a fat person, and so I can cut myself off from "bad" foods (yes, yes, I know, don't assign a moral value to foods, but that's another blog post for another time), and do it successfully for a time, but I'll always slide back into the old habits until I deal with the issues. We'll see where it goes with the therapist.